With good intentions to guard the sacredness of purity and marital intimacy, the courtship/biblical dating crowd has taken one expression of affection, which has just as much potential as any other to be beautiful and life-giving, and has, perhaps inadvertently, labeled it as .
They can all also contribute to premature intimacy.
This may sound harsh, and believe me, I used to think it was too; but, after being on the single side of life, and the married side as well, I see how God’s standards for purity are there to know why He forbids sex before marriage, but the little bit of knowledge we do have shows premarital sex can lead to disease, depression, anxiety, insecurity, shame, and heartache (just to name a few). If you are a believer, then the Holy Spirit dwells inside of you and you when you are entering dangerous territory because the Holy Spirit communicates it to you.
” Revisiting the question now years after marriage, there is something that is now quite obvious to me…
It is obvious that my heart was not in the right place back then.
It’s possible to say “I love you” to soon, to spend too much time together, to be too extravagant with gifts, and to communicate more intimacy and commitment that is appropriate for that stage in the relationship.
But just as growth happens in any area of a relationship–more time is spent together, communication becomes deeper, more of life is shared–it is natural to expect that an appropriate physical relationship will develop and grow alongside the rest of the relationship. There is no one-size-fits all standard for physical limits.